Funny Jobs Worksheet for the Letter of Introduction

Mrs. Gann

House B Language Arts

DIRECTIONS:  Scan this list of real and funny jobs and/or educational programs and choose one for your “letter of introduction”—or feel free to come up with one on your own.  Be creative in your approach for some of these jobs—that might count in your favor!

REAL JOBS AND PROGRAMS that you would want to use a letter of introduction for:

Babysitter

Snow shoveler

Lawn mower

Errand runner for an elderly neighbor or relative

Dog walker

Dog/cat sitter

Newspaper carrier

Volunteer at a local library or hospital

Your Boy Scout/Girl Scout community project

A youth activity or group at your place of worship

Camp counselor (day or stay-away)

Application to a specialty camp or program (for the arts, sports, leadership)

FUNNY JOBS that don’t exist, but maybe should:

Groomer for Harry Potter’s owl, Hedwig

Sleigh packer for Santa

Egg dipper for the Easter Bunny

Toothbrush manufacturer for crocodiles

Vince Lombardi Trophy polisher

Manicurist for the lions at the Cleveland Zoo

FUNNY JOBS that really exist, but I have no idea how you get them:

Nail polish namer for OPI (www.opi.com)

Bugle blower at the Kentucky Derby

Mascot for any college or professional team

Fossil duster at the Smithsonian

Page turner for concert pianists

Alligator trapper

Bingo caller

Earthworm farmer

Funeral parlor cosmetologist

Ocularist

Oyster shucker

Porta-potty serviceman

Potato chip inspector

Aquarium repairman

Ratcatcher

Safe cracker

Snake venom extractor

Keeper of the Stanley Cup

LEGO model maker

Parapsychologist

Diaper fitter

Castanet player

Paperclip bender

Basket weaver at Longaberger

Quality control officer for a deodorant company

Seventh-grade English teacher J

MODEL:

January 27, 2005

(skip 2 lines)

10033 Chesterfield Drive                       HEADING (use your real address)

Parma Heights, OH 44130

(skip 2 lines)

Mr. Harry Potter                                   INSIDE ADDRESS

c/o Hogwarts

(skip 2 lines)

Dear Mr. Potter:                                   GREETING (always formal, Mr., Mrs., Ms., Dr.,etc)

(skip 2 lines)

I recently saw your advertisement for a bird groomer in The Plain Dealer and wanted to introduce myself.  My name is Myra Higgenbottom and I have been a licensed registered bird groomer for over twenty years.  I trained at Miss Prissy’s School for Bird Groomers and received a perfect score on the licensing examination.  I am quite sure that my skills and expertise would be a perfect match for Hedwig’s fine feathers.  Please feel free to contact me at the above address.  I would love to meet with you and discuss this opportunity.                         BODY

(skip 2 lines)

Sincerely,                                              COMPLIMENTARY CLOSE

(skip 2 lines)

Miss Myra Higgenbottom                       SIGNATURE

Your homework for Tuesday, February 1:  Write the rough draft of a letter of introduction for any of the above jobs or positions (or one you make up yourself if you want!).  You will turn it in Tuesday at the beginning of class.  It is worth 10 points.